Sunday, January 5, 2014

BLAH BLAH BLAH IM SORT OF OKAY MAYBE

HI EVERYONE!
YES YES YES. WHAT SO MANY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. FINALLY. A BLOG POST.
Heres a gross selfie for you so you know I'm smiling:
I'm sorry this has been taking me so long. I've been feeling extremely uninspired recently (duh) and I promise you I've been trying to write stuff but its almost impossible. But today I felt determined. Fresh out of the disgusting rehab shower and ready to go!!

My life has changed so much in the past month so I don't really know how to begin. I have so many stories in my head about so many instances and people and hospitals, and ambulance rides and conversations that trying to find a starting point is crazily hard. Right now, I'm sitting in my ghetto wheelchair. making really strange grunting noises cause my left leg always hurts, and talking to my momma about how to make this post interesting. She says just to stop trying to please you guys and write how I'm really feeling.

So, how I'm really feeling is this strange mix of emotions that I'm going to try to explain but it might just come out like blah. I'm obviously sad, and angry, and totally devastated. The accident ruined everything for us. I'm grieving the loss of my beautiful, beautiful sister, and the loss of my body. A body that I hated so much before this which was SO STUPID. I had an amazing body that worked and functioned and I despised it and I'm so, so angry at myself for that. Whenever I think of/hear a girl say "ugh I'm so fat" "I HATE my body" "I don't have a thigh gap. Kill me." it makes me want to shove a pencil through there ear because THEY HAVE A BODY. Yes, I know I have one too, but it isn't the same. I want to go on walks with my best friend Max and appreciate everything we pass. I want to run down eight flights of metal stairs with my best friend Danni trying to make the most noise imaginable. I want to go iceskating with Melanie and have dance parties with Lucy. I want to go to camp and do yoga and play gaga. I want to move and walk and run and dance and I may never have that. All my friends are like "You don't know that! You're getting better!!!!!! YOU WILL WALK! YOU WILL DANCE!!" And yeah. Maybe I will… but more likely I won't. Which is so suck. So, so suck.
And wheelchair/paralyzed life is incredibly frustrating. Getting pants on becomes like, a half hour activity. If you knew before this, you would know that I am an extremely independent person who absolutley HATES asking for help with anything. (except for laundry lol). And now I need help with what seems like everything.Which is so frustrating for someone like me.Yes, I have grown to be way more independent in the past two weeks, but needing help to do something as simple as using the bathroom is so degrading and dehumanizing I can't even begin to explain it. agh.

Alright. So on top of all these awful feelings, I have so many beautiful happy feelings as well. Before this I was lonley and depressed. I felt isolated and felt like no one loved me. After the accident I realized how incredibly wrong I was. There are so many people who care about me. I have friends and family visiting me everyday. My mom has turned into wonder woman and has been taking amazing care of me. My father has been going back and forth between Massachusetts and New York City to  take care of me of take care of me as much as he can. My aunt has been visiting me all the way from Cairo, Egypt. And my friends! Oh my god my friends. I could never ask for better friends. They come here everyday, ignoring all the other fun things they could be doing other than sitting in a hospital, and talk to me and laugh with me and sing with me and most of all take care of me and it is so beautiful. I love you guys so much. Thank you.
★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★  ★   
But even with these positive emotions the negative ones usually kick in more. I really hate being here. Although this place works magic. It has become suffocating. My dad always says to take it one day at a time. Nikita says to celebrate the small achievements. Max says to just keep wiggling.

And thats what I'm gonna do. I wiggle everyday and magically I can now move my right leg side to side, kick it from the knee down pretty high, and squeeze my quad. (Look! I'm using fancy physical therapist words!) And my left leg which we considered the derp leg can twitch and wiggle! And as of two days ago I can kick it just a little bit!

My fingers are crossed and I'll never stop wiggling.
Much love to everyone.
xoxoxo
Ruby-Joy♥


also if you have any ideas on what i should write about or if you have any questions (a frequently asked questions post?) you can comment or shoot me an email. xoxox

82 comments:

  1. Dear Ruby,
    You are so much in our thoughts. There is not a single day i do not think of you. Know that i send you Reiki every day and that YOU are ONE of a Kind!! You are such and inspiration and your words may help other girls-women-men-human beings- that may not appreciate what they have.Sometimes i wonder if you feel like playing the ukelele or the keyboard, if you are in the mood of writing songs. Music has the power of healing and i am looking forward one day to bring some music to you and even make music together. Just waiting for the right moment, since we know many people-thank God- are visiting you. I am sure even on your chair you bright up people´s lives with your beautiful smile. Anyway, I do not want to be too cheesy-as Maya would say-. Please, keep writing in your blog, maybe some songs and do not worry about pleasing the rest of us, Rose is right. Write from your heart and if you feel sad, you do not try to justify it to make everyone else happy. We all have a right to our feelings. Much love to you, Rubita. Marta H.

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  2. Ruby! So excited about your first post, I've been looking out for it:) Thank you for sharing with us! Your wise momma is right, all we want to hear is what you have to say. Keep up the good work, and stay strong in that boring, helpful place. xo Kelsy

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  3. Hello dur everyone, my name is Jake Robbins and I am one of many of Ruby's cousins. I live in the city now and study acting in college, and when I found out Ruby was going to be in NYC I was very happy because I knew I'd be able to see her more often then most people. I think this whole experience has changed my life. Ruby really has changed the way I think. We as human beings really don't realize how much we take life and simple things for granted. Being able to get out of bed and grab a glass of water. Take the subway to the movies. Ruby has really impacted me in a way that is unimaginable and it's not just about taking small things for granted. Ruby has so much strength, and she is so bright, and one of THE happiest people I truly know. She is smart, beautiful, kind, inspiring, thoughtful, brave, goofy, loving, and without a doubt unique. That is one thing I ALWAYS admired about Ruby. So many people want to be one of a kind, "different," or unique, but Ruby IS. Without trying which amazes me. I'm going to wear "hipster" glasses to stand out, to be different.... Well Ruby is different, in all different types of ways without even trying to be, she's unique, she is her, and that is what I think makes her special. Anyways I am ranting, but I truly loved this first post. If you can visit her, do so! Don't send her candy, because she has enough of that...thanks for teaching me your almost 22 year old cousin so much about life Ruby. I love you ;) JAKEY

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  4. Ruby! I don't know if you remember me that well but I'm Nick :p we only saw eachother like six times but even from that I know you are an amazing and unique person :D now everyone who knew you better than I did might think that I can't be saying all of this since I didn't really know you so well but the truth is I don't care :O even from those times that we met I can tell what kind of a person you were:
    you're beautiful, I love your hair and style soooooooo much, you are so COOL!!! You'll always have a special place in everyone's heart because of who you are and I really want you to get better soon so that we can all crush you with our hugs in LaGuardia :D
    -totally sincerely, Nick <3

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  5. Not everyone has the gift of laying it out naked, as you do here, and infusing it with a healthy dose of good, self-mocking humor. (Not talking about your selfie, which could not be more glamorous if you had a professional make up artist on 24-hour standby.) What I'm saying is, you're a good writer, and I look forward to further posts.

    Keep wigglin'.

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  6. Ruby...I see that a greate thing has sprong-up from this trajedy. You don't need to walk in orther to write ispireing notes. Writing may be your calling. Any one in great distress can find corrage and straight from your words. Keep on writing and sharing your feelings. It is natural and it is normal to be angree and opset. you are going through a lot.I am glad to know that u rediscovered how much you are loved. As far as the bad parts of your current situation. Trust that it is temporarily :-)

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  7. Hey Ruby!
    I dont know you. You dont know me.
    But thanks to the Chief Primatologist of the East Village Inky, I have been priveliged to take a glimpse into your... life? Tragedy? Strength? Pain? Witty-ness? Humor? Wisdom. Bravery.
    Thank you for sharing your very private thoughts and feelings.
    I look forward to reading more about your journey.
    And dont worry about getting stuck with the ghetto wheelchair. It only means you dont need a "special order" for one.

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  8. Ruby, I don't even know you and you inspire me so much. Please continue to write.
    Love, A hopeful friend Rebecca
    p.s. I'm also living in NYC and a high schooler, i'm 16. And hospitals SUCK. xo

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  9. Ruby! I found your blog through a friend and what a blog you've got! Best of the best of luck to you during rehab and beyond. I broke my foot almost exactly three years ago today and spent four months in a wheelchair so I know how much it sucks. And I'm so sorry you felt no one loved you! People can suck, but in times of crisis, they can prove themselves to be the fuzziest little balls of love that ever existed. Good luck again, and keep writing!

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  10. Ruby I miss you soo much. But Im so glad that you FINALLY realize what Id been telling you all along. you were and still are perfff and freakin awesome dude. Text me and say where youre stayingg cause Ive been wanting to visit and bring you a giftt and a little something.

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  11. Fabulous post!!! Keep on writing! xxx

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  12. Hilarious first blog. My brother lost a leg in a trucking accident when he was in his mid-twenties. Trust me, there is dancing after wheelchairs. It wears on a person to be inspiring 24/7, so let yourself also be petulant, bored, sad and frustrated without shame.

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  13. Ruby, we've never met, but I know your mom very well. Today is my 40th birthday and I find your post to be the best birthday gift so far! Of course I've been thinking of you since the moment I heard of your accident, but to hear your voice and perspective since it really put a whole new light on it. First of all, I am beyond impressed by how articulate and mature your post was. Secondly, I want to thank you for being a reminder of not only how much we all have to be appreciative for that we typically dislike but for giving us all inspiration. I believe blessings come in many strange ways, often in packages we totally hate. It is through years of experience that we can look back at them and find gratitude! I know your life is forever changed and it sucks beyond belief. However, the beautiful way you seem to be handling it assures me that this tragedy will be handled by you with tremendous perspective and that you will always be able to see things from an empowered perspective! It may not always be perfect and there is quite a sucky road ahead for you, but just know you are making a difference with your authentic display of grace, dignity, humor and maturity. You are one of my heroes! Thank you!!

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  14. Dear Ruby the Joy,
    So grateful to get to read your eloquent and heart-open words. You are such a shiny, sparkley beacon of bravery! I was laid up for several months last year and at that time found it very easy to dwell in the mire--indulge thoughts that didn't serve my mental, spiritual, or physical well-being. Putting thoughts to paper helped me to find some perspective at that time (and onwards) and I'm grateful that your mom encouraged to take the leap on a public forum so your fawning fans of the world wide web can appreciate what's going on for you on your journey. What a gift. Know that the whole Schweitzer family is rooting for you out in CT. We're looking forward to reading more stories of miraculous little recoveries of your heart and limbs--wiggle by wiggle--if you'll indulge us.

    With gratitude for your existence,
    <3 <3 <3 from Lily Sage (& Austin, too.)


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  15. Hi Ruby,
    I somewhat knew you at Nest (I'm a year ahead of you), and I mostly remember you by your always awesome hair (which still looks really cool, by the way)
    I just wanted to say that it is so spectacular how much progress you made, and how cheerful you sound, and I hope you keep writing these posts
    When I saw your donations page, I was in tears, because I was so sorry about what happened (I donated 10$ anonymously), and I'm so glad that you're writing wiggling again
    Keep at it!
    Sofia

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  16. OMG RUBY im soo happy for idk if u remeber me or not lol but its me the crazy girl from gym class yeah i just want you to kno even before this horrible accident people cared about you just the same amount it just took this for you to realize this Im praying for you (and srry if ur an athiest lol) im praying you get stronger and stronger everyday n cant wait to see you in school again i miss you and ur crazy hair color lol <3 :)

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  17. Ruby -

    I have been thinking about you a lot, and it makes me so joyful to see you emitting that Ruby-esque fervor that everybody is so fond of. Keep on writing! I know that many people, including myself, would be beyond happy to continue reading everything that you've got to say.
    Enjoy every day as it comes. You're obviously super intelligent and from this blog post I can ascertain that you're well aware of how much love people have for you, and from all of these comments, you can probably see the massive levels of adoration that people have for you as well.
    I'm not really sure what else to say. Keep on truckin' - as you have been. You are a wise, groovy, fab girl.

    Sincerely,
    Georgia

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  18. This is the best blog post I have ever read. You have the most incredible and inspiration perspective and voice. Girls everywhere should read your blog. I can believe how fucking cool you are for being just fourteen, and how amazing you have handled all of the tremendous grief you and your family must be going through. Even if worst comes to worst (which I really do not believe will happen) and you can't dance the same way again, damn girl, you know you are going to find a new way to dance. You may have lost your body (for now), but you haven't lost your spirit and I give you so much respect for that. You are an inspiration, please keep writing.

    Ps. you don't know me, I was a student of yer mamas. I was stalking you and then read this and was so blown away by your awesomeness. Much love to you and yer mama.

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  19. RUBY OMG!! I don't know if you remember who I am, I'm in your global and gym class. I hope you've been feeling okay and I really wish you were back with the rest of us at school :( We terribly miss you in global and gym </3 Well, Mrs. Johnsen is going back to Cacioppo and cut her hair. And I guess volleyball in gym is fun. But seriously, it pains me to see your seat and floorspot empty. I wish you the best :D

    Xoxo Love,
    Alaces(:

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  20. Hi Ruby,

    I found your blog on my cousin Yoli's Facebook page. Kick ass in rehab and know that many people, including those of us who don't know you in person, are rooting for you.

    You've got this girl!
    Allie

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  21. Fabulous blog post. I am very impressed.

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  22. hey ruby,
    we've never met before but i go to your school (i'm a sophomore currently) and i find you to be such an inspiration! i know how difficult losing a family member is, especially one that is so close to you. i lost my father a year and some months ago, at the beginning of freshman year. i know that it seems like such a devastating way to start high school but you will come to find that people care about you way more than you ever thought possible. i know how annoying this is, but if you EVER want to talk to someone you can always just shoot me a message on facebook :) i'll be hoping to see you walking the halls again soon! xoxo
    Victoria

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  23. Ruby, you're an amazing human being and I'm sure you'll continue to amaze us all. Rock on!

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  24. Hi Ruby!
    I'm so inspired to read this--and what a strong, beautiful spirit you are Ruby. You always have been. I hope you remember me from when you were 5 years old. (I think you do--and "Free to Be You an Me") What you are doing is giving voice to all this in a way that your friends and family can relate to. We are with you, rooting for you on this journey of re-habilitation and recovery. Know that you are so very loved. I've been thinking about you & your family every day. Keep wiggling!
    Sending buckets of love to you from Austin, TX.
    Wendy

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  25. Hello Ruby, .
    I wanted to just say that i found this blog by random search and am so thankful that i did. As a current laguardia student, i walk the hallways among many dance majors and other gorgeous students and constantly criticize my body. I'm not of an unhealthy size but i am nowhere near what everybody looks like. I read and heard about your story and now read your blog and want to thank you, genuinely and from my heart, for making me see the utter stupidity of my emotions. I read this and realize that everything you say is so true; and that what matters most is not something so insignificant as what people think of you but the good people who surround you and stand by you even through the toughest of times. I am so looking forward to all your next posts and wish you all the best. My very honest and deep condolences for the pain you and your family must be feeling right now; i can relate. I hope you stay radiant and positive through all of this. So once again, thank you so much, and good luck.

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  26. Heyyyyy Bummble Wummble,
    Girl I miss you so much. Not a day goes by where I don't sing our songs to myself and sometimes in P.E. I do our Choreography to "I Shall Scream" until people look at me like wth, but then I think if Ruby were here she wouldn't care what they think so why should I?
    You are such a strong and amazing human being and as you can see so many people care about you. You and I were always one of the stronger personalities in Oliver last year and sometimes we got in each others way and we'd bicker about it but then we would learn the meaning to one of our perverted lines or learn an exotic new dance move and it was like our personalities were one. I am so blessed to have gotten to know you so well over the past few years because you truly have changed my life greatly, and I can never thank you enough. It was an amazing experience going to visit you at the rehab center and I'm gonna be honest at first I was scared to death. I was worried you weren't gonna be the bright eyed bummble that I grew to love. I kept asking Rubyrose how you would react to me being there and she said she didn't know and thats when I got really scared cause your nursed opened the door and out you came in you "ghetto wheelchair" and you kitty slippers and your hair in a powerful up-do looking JUST FABULOUS. And then sitting in the guest room with you for about an hour may have been the best experience of my life. I will definitely be back to see you soon because I need myself some bummble;) I love you so much Ruby and I will be here for you whenever you need me and i shall scream! scream! SCREAM!

    xoxo
    Ms. Corney
    or i guess it Mrs. Bummble now;)

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  27. Hi Ruby!
    Someone posted a link to your blog on Reddit. You're a really big inspiration and I can't wait to read more of your posts. Even though I don't personally know you, you seem like a really kick ass person! Best of luck to you in rehab and keep being awesome. I wish you the best of luck and tons of love.

    Lots of hugs from sunny Florida,
    Britney M.

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  28. All I can say is amazing! Go, Ruby, go...wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah! Cheryl B (daddy's friend)

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  29. Ruby, for the past month I have thought about you and your family and the loss and things that you have gone thru. I was forwarded your post from a family member. You don't know me and I don't know you but you are truly an amazing person. Losing a younger sibling has happened to me too. Your blog will be sure to inspire many more. Me and my family are thinking of you here in Minnesota and I wish you the best and will be thinking of you and looking forward to your upcoming post.

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  30. From the crew and Cast of HBO's GIRLS, we wish you a speedy recovery and keep on wiggling!

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  31. Ruby you won't remember us but we met at Cori's wedding. My daughter Emma was in the wedding party with you as well as my son Cole who was in a stroller at the time. Anyway, when we heard from Denise about your accident we were devastated by the news. We think about you all the time and hope you are doing better with each day that passes. We are sorry about your little sister. I hope some of our positive thoughts are reaching you in some way. I read your blog, and i am sure you are still feeling more negative than positive. But hearing you are wiggling and moving that right leg and sounds like the left is following, made my morning. I can tell you are going to be an inspiration to so many others, I think you summed it up so well saying prior to the accident you hated your body, and now you think how stupid. I want you to know that you reminded me today to be grateful, thankful, etc for all that I have and all that my family has. So thank you for sharing. We will continue to send positive thoughts. And I hope you continue to share your progress with us. Hugs!!!

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  32. Ruby,
    You are brave, bold and beautiful. Continue being honest about your feelings with yourself and the rest of us. We learn from your candid, sparkly, wise and wiggly self and for that the world is truly lucky.
    Mom of a LaGuardia 9th grade art student who has you in her thoughts and heart.

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  33. Ruby,
    Stay Rad & Keep Wiggling!

    XO,
    Your Cousin
    Matt

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  34. Hi Ruby,
    Just keep swimming. (as dory says) you're totally awesome and unique. I mean we haven't really talked much or I don't know if you seem to remember me but yeah. These emotions are a part of life but just know you're friends and family are by your side. You wont be lonely as you once felt. You're a warrior, strong and epic. So just keep swimming and keep you're head up. Cause a princess shall not let her crown fall. I know you got this.

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  35. Ruby-Joy Ruby-Joy Ruby-Joy OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. This is so amazing I just can't. I miss you a lot, like a lot, art is unbelievably boring without you. We are doing figure drawing and it is pretty terrible, Its really hard to make that fun. Anywhozzle just keep going, I know you can do it. I'm seconding that wiggle thing, I love it. You are so inspiring just UUGGG I almost can't handle it. Just keep going, this is amazing. I mean how can RUBY-JOY, of all people, NOT be rad in rehab?!?!?!?!? You are the most amazing person ever!!!!!!!!!!!
    XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
    Isabel <3 <3 <3

    p.s Your probably going to have to write a book now and include all the awesome doodles and everything because you just, you know, how can you now XD

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  36. Ruby,
    I am Max' s Mom. We've been hearing about how things are going for you after Max comes home from visiting. I hear him practicing ukelele songs to sing with you and it makes me smile to imagine your voices raised in the hospital. I hope you continue to use every last ounce of your creativity to pull you through. Sing, make art, write, and yes, dance. I am a dancer so naturally I believe you don't have to wait for so called working legs to dance!

    Thank you for your beautiful and honest post, Ruby.
    Love to you,
    Rebekah

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  37. I loved your post, Ruby. You're a terrific writer. Please keep telling the truth about your experience, we are all out here rooting for you and learning from you too. Keep wiggling! :)

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  38. Hi Ruby,

    We don't know each other. I am a student of your mom's. I think you're amazing. You are talented(super sweet voice!), unique, and brilliant. Your mom has always spoken of you in such a darling way, you truly sound like a great friend and soul... I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts go out to you and your family during this time in your lives. Your story has inspired all of us more than you know. Stay rad.

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  39. Hi Ruby,
    I'm a friend of your Uncle Glenn's - he sent me the link to your blog. I read your words first thing this morning and I will now live an inspired day. I will be more grateful for what I have - I will love more fully - I will be a better man today because of what you wrote. You are really something Ruby. Thank you

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  40. Hey Ruby - Aunt Nancy is one of my favorite people ever and my revolution buddy in Cairo. She sent me the link to your blog and I'm loving it! You're the read deal miss rad ruby - keep writing and reminding us to love our bodies, regardless of how they look or are treating us today. All the posting peoples agree - you and your story are an inspiration. I really admire how you are able to open up about the devastation of your losses and the outpouring of love from your family and friends. Isn't that just the paradox of life? Keep on keepin it rad - waiting for the next installation.

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  41. Please keep wiggling and writing, Ruby! You are wonderful and amazing. I know you peripherally (I'm a NEST+m parent) but I had to tell you that your strength and voice are beautiful. I'd love to read more about you being rad in rehab.

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  42. so the video and the message don't exactly apply, but this very cheesy song from a long time ago should serve as a reminder to keep wiggling it, just a little bit. much love to you from Jamie and Jack. we are close by and can bring you anything you want anytime. milkshake? brownies? magazines? you name it and we're there

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  43. oops, forgot to include the video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2PGNA2u_HI

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  44. Hey, Ruby, it's Denise, Cori's mom.
    You know, about four years ago, you sent me the sweetest thank you card for some school supplies I sent you, and I thought, I should write to her...and time passed.
    And then that summer, I think, or maybe the next summer, can't remember, you sent me
    a little post card from camp, full of great stories, and sweet thoughts and I thought I should write to her...and time passed.

    Then there was Cori's wedding and shower. We had some fittings for Cori's dress at your mom's -- and some treats on your rooftop -- but each time sadly I missed you, you were out and about living your life. At one point your mom showed me your room and the curtains you made for it, the color palette you picked and she filled me in on what you were up to. When I left I thought, I'm gonna drop her a line... and time passed. And, before I knew it, there you were at Cori's wedding in that crisp white dress, that you made, hanging out with the kids, making friends, dancing and smiling with your mom. I remember loving the way you two looked at each other. When the pictures came, there you were and I thought...
    Last year I got the sweetest New Year's card kissing 2012 goodbye from Rose and Ruby Joy, which I am looking at right now. When we got it, I went to Facebook to write something to your mom and got sidetracked with a post on her wall of a U-Tube performance of "Brand New Key." That song was on the charts when I was in high school and I can remember singing it at the top of my lungs in the shower, I loved it! And you certainly did it proud, happily and deliberately playing the ukelele with Ruby style and grace. I loved the performance. I was so impressed with you and how you had grown to be such a unique ,cool, special person. I believed -- especially when I saw that that performance was for an application to a camp or school somewhere --that you could do whatever you put your mind to, and I believe that today even more.
    Ruby this time I'll seize the moment, because I have a thought. This new life challenge is a big one, but nothing you can't put your Ruby spin on to make it work. Listen intently, feel deeply, love completely and keep that open mind and free spirit that has been with you since the day you took your first breath.
    Love love love,
    Denise
    Oh, and keep wigglin'!!! :-)


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  45. Ruby, I am happy to see your posting! I was very upset, as were many of us, by this terrible situation. But YOU seem of a terrific sassy nature and that will certainly help in the healing process- mind and body. I am a stranger to you but I work with your Uncle Glenn and your whole family has been in my thoughts since Thanksgiving. I send a good vibe your way little sister and I know that although we never met- I am rooting for an excellent progress report for you. Keep wigglin' girl! Show 'em all what you are made of! Susan

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  46. Hi, Ruby,
    My name is James and I am old and British and right now, I’m in India with my American wife Clare. I know about you because I am an old friend of your aunt Nancy, who is a special person. She’s been telling me about what happened to you and your family. She sent me the contact for this blog.
    Ruby, you may be one of the most special people I have ever heard of. The way you are responding to the tragedy of losing your sister and the injuries you suffered is very deeply inspiring.
    Please remember that although you have been going through a really very tough experience of late, your courage and your amazing grace in adversity are an inspiration to so many of us who have not had such accidents as you have.
    The extraordinary thing is that by keeping your own spirits up, you are lifting the spirits of other people who also have difficulties to overcome: less challenging than what you are going through, perhaps, but serious enough to benefit from your example.
    I know you’d rather none of this had happened. We all would. But now that you are dealing with it, head on and with the resourcefulness in your nature, you will be amazed by the good things that come from it, for you and for others.
    Not that I’m an expert in things like this, but I am absolutely convinced that the physical limitations you are describing so bravely can and will be overcome if you just keep on trying, as you are now. It’s good to have the help of the medical professionals, of course, but with a soul like yours at work, the most important part of healing yourself comes from inside you alone.
    You are a good writer. May I make a suggestion? The entries in your blog are so riveting and so moving that you should be processing them daily into a diary that may later be published to enrich the lives of thousands of people, in addition to the many friends and relatives who care so much about you now.
    This is an immediate reaction to your blog, Ruby, which I have just seen. If you feel like responding to me, please do. It will certainly make my life better, and, hopefully yours too, if only a little: every little counts.
    With best wishes from a distant admirer of your wonderful spirit,
    James Forsyth

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  47. My Dear Ruby Joy, Every day you make me proud that you are my niece. Every day I admire your courage. I promise we will have lots of fun again far more than eating chocolate ice cream for breakfast with our fingers. Your spirit and determination will wiggle you forward more and more day by day. Aunts, are forever. I love you more.... Aunt Nancy

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  48. luv u sooooooooooooooo much doobs!!!!!

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  49. Ruby ...We don't know each other but we're sort of related through your grandmother Carol. Carol and my husband are cousins (Monteforte cousins) and your grandma has been sending us updates and keeping us posted on your progress. I'm a writer - as is Phil (your grandma's cousin) and we know the healing powers of expressing yourself and putting your thoughts to words. And yours here are particularly powerful. Wishing you blue skies and buckets full of tiny triumphs that spill over and wash you into the person you are destined to become. Sending you healing thoughts. ... Amy Gianficaro

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  50. hi Ruby hope your feeling better. This is delia i went to your school last year and live nearby. I just wanted to let you know that me my family and friends at nest give you all of our love. And we will miss you we all know nest was the place for you

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  51. Get better! I'm still trying to visit, but the shortest distances always have the most obstacles. But you've always overcome any obstacle that's been thrown at you (well, to the extent of what I know, anyway), and that's what matters. And that hasn't changed a single bit! You are still you, you pink-haired, only-knows-one-speed, ukulele-playing load of awesomeness!

    So keep wiggling and rockin' it!
    -Max

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  52. Hey Ruby, Jen (Jed's sister) here to say I loved your excellent post and am eager to read about your experiences, feelings, whatever! You have an awesome spirit and I am sending lots of love to you and your amazing mom and family, lots of love from London, xoxo jen

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  53. Hi Ruby, you don't know me, and I don't know you. But that doesn't matter. My name is Tessa. Tessa Kraft, I'm 11 years old. And yes I'm just a kid, a 6th grade goofball, but when I heard your story, it touched me and amazed me. I love to write stories, stories of many kinds, and I always wrote about paralyzed children/ teens. I don't know why, I just did. But when I heard your story I realized that, well, I didn't know that kids your age, were that smart. I didn't. But reading this, reading this just proved my theory wrong. You are the smartest, bravest person that I have ever heard of. And I kind of know what it feels like to loose someone super important. No, I do know what it feels like. My Aunt, the closest aunt ever to me passed last year. It may not be a big whoop or anything but it was, and still is to me. But I really feel for you and your family. No one should have to go through that pain. I wish I could help. I really do. I have a half sister that I've NEVER met. And it kills me. I want to know her, and I want to be a part of her. Like a goofed younger sis. What I'm getting at is....well...I'm not actually sure. Maybe I'll think of it later. But...just know that an 11 year old, a 6th grader, a goofball, a Tessa, well she gets you. Just know, that you can always reply to this and we can talk. Maybe it'll make you feel better, maybe me, just please know, that even though you have no idea who I am, I'm here. For you. ~Tessa...Kraft

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  54. Hi Ruby, I stumbled upon your blog via Reddit, and I must say you're really inspiring and amazing. Just keep wriggling! We all believe in you :)

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  55. Dear Ruby, You don't know me but I lived down the street from your Dad was he was young. I also babysat for your Uncle Bruce. I too had a sister who died when I was young, she was twelve and I was nine. I would have loved to have a blog then! Keep writing, laughing and crying it's all good. Lauren Milesky Swartz

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  56. well miss ruby joy..........you are an amazing girl..i am so sorry for your loss and wish you nothing but goodness from here on in..i grew up with your mom and still live by your gramma. she stops into my work to keep me updated and gave me this link...you are beautiful and look just like your mom...takes me back to younger days...this is a great idea and i will be reading your blog often to keep up with you. say hello to your mom for me, and girl you got this!
    erin mcnerney

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  57. Hi Ruby,

    I came to your family reunion in September; I came with your older cousin Marah. We didn't talk, but I saw how cute you and the little kids were.

    Marah posted your blog link to her Facebook page. Twelve people there liked it and I know others have seen it.

    It is always tempting to give advice to someone who has been hurt, but what you are living through is more than most people can comprehend. My mom had her arm paralyzed after an accident, so I maybe know 1% of what you are going through. All I can say is that when I've been down, getting through a day at a time, or even an hour at a time, is a way to move forward. Also do not hesitate to ask for and take help from your friends; not everyone can help all the time, but some people will be grateful for the chance to do good.

    I have worked as a programmer, technical writer, system administrator, and technical support. I might find day-to-day life extremely inconvenient if I couldn't get around, but everything interesting or creative that I do is pretty much done while I'm sitting in a chair.

    Anyway I just wanted you to know that people are listening to you.

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  58. Hello Ruby,

    I am a member of your community, a parent of two boys who are too old to know you or to have known your sister (Fergus is 19 and Liam is 15) , but I heard right away about what happened to you and your family, from a friend and co-worker, who is the dad of one of your sister's best friends (Emilio)

    Reading your post made me feel very grateful.

    I could ask a ton of questions, like, is it helpful to you to hear from strangers who are in the community and want to support you all a little?

    The other questions would all be about what the place you are in is like. Like, is there a garden there? Is there a swimming pool?

    How much do you get to wander out of your room?

    And do you have a roommate?

    Are you meeting any new and interesting people there? Who are your neighbors if you know any?

    Do you have any pastimes there that are distracting?

    thats a good start as far as questions.

    Paul Baumann



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  59. Ruby. Thank you for posting and letting us know how you are doing. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself and show great generosity in sharing your experience with everyone. You are a most lovely, interesting, and exceptional young lady (that was clear even when I met you at age 5). I eagerly await your next posts and news of your continued recovery. Sending you much Love, Sam (George's Mom)

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  60. This has to be the best blog post I've ever read. This is Cavan Miller (Kav-in) you might not remember me (fifth grade science fair, i was in like second grade). The way this post was written was very much like a book I just read and loved, (also the topic of the book was much like your situation). But still, this is a great post. When I first heard you could move, from my friends in school, I swear I almost broke the cage to the roof of the building and went screaming "SHE CAN MOVE!!!", and just like every other kid typing their comment my mother can sail a boat on her path of tears. You are stronger than anybody that I know, you are a soldier.
    Stay strong.
    -Cavan

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  61. Hi Ruby, I stumbled upon your post via someone I met a few times whose e-mail list I'm on who knows your dad, so sort of 4 degrees of separation. I just felt compelled to comment because I wanted to tell you that you can really write and express yourself so well...your post brought tears to my eyes! I agree with Paul (another commenter here) that you should write more, and the questions he posed to you are all great topics that I'm sure we'd all love to read about. Keep writing and keep "wiggling", and you're going to heal faster than you can imagine right now! I'm so sorry for you and your families loss. - a neighbor in brooklyn

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  62. Hi Ruby,

    I am a LAG mother and wanted to tell you that I think you are an amazing writer. You express yourself so brilliantly and give the reader a real sense of what you are going through. Thanks so much for sharing your unexpected journey with us. I heard about your tragic accident and want to send huge hugs and the warmest and best wishes to you and your family. Keep that creative outlet going -- you are so talented!!
    Love, Valerie

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  63. Will be thinking about you a lot after reading your blog and fingers crossed for more great progress. Don't know you but sending a big hug anyway!
    Joan Snyder

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  64. Dear Ruby-
    What a great post - you are amazing!! I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful person you are - I am very sorry for your loss. I am so impressed with you that there are no words to explain it. You just keep wiggling everything you can! I love you and will plan to visit you when we can- Keep up the good work and progress.
    Love
    Aunt Linda

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  65. Thank you Ruby! Thank you for sharing your gifts, insights, truths, and vulnerabilities with the world; it is what a communicator does, whether it be music, writing, art, or dance. You are a genuine communicator, human to human, spirit to spirit. Love, prayers, and deep thoughts...hope to see y'all soon. Casandra aka Rosanne (Frankie's ma)

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  66. Hi Ruby - This is Liz Garvey, Lexi's mom ... I just saw this post, and I wanted to thank you for sharing both the good and bad in such an honest and open way. I can imagine that writing posts is often the last thing you want to do ... but we are all ears when you are ready. Are you able to do any artwork in the hospital? It would be cool to see how your creativity manifests itself visually through this journey. You have such a joyful spirit -- that will undoubtedly help your healing in all ways! And - by the way - Happy Birthday! (Lexi mentioned it was Monday.) :^)

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  67. Ruby, I heard about you from a friend of mine at Pratt who's one of your mom's students, and I thought I'd look you up to see how things are going (I was really sad hearing about the accident, and it stuck with me for weeks). I'm AMAZED by your attitude-- and the fact that you can wiggle! Wow!!! Girl, you're incredible. Keep working hard; you have such a big future.
    BEST WISHES- you're going to go so far,
    Maggie

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  68. Happy Birthday!!!
    Love Aunt Linda, Uncle Jimmy and Family

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  69. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  70. Hi there, I got this post in an email from a gallery. I am an artist living in Hawaii. I'm so sorry to hear what happened. Your spirit is very inspiring. As far as what to write about, I just suggest you write about what comes to mind and don't judge yourself. I know that is hard in a public forum but you don't have to post it all. I think writing can really help. It might be interesting to you to google Roger Ebert. I'm from Chicago and he was a famous, beloved film critic from there. Later in life he developed many health troubles but continued to review films via his blog...intensely and all the time. His life story and is attitude are inspiring and really fascinating. I mention this not because you are his situation, but because his attitude seemed to make all the difference! Finally, unrelated, if you like art, etc. you might enjoy my Pinterest boards if you want to see some color & fun: http://www.pinterest.com/kirstensimonsen Best wishes to you.

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  71. Thank you for your honesty; you embody such great strength and love. I was in a car accident before, and this post really hits home. You and your family are in my thoughts and heart!

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  72. Dear Ruby, my daughter Sandy is in the art department of Laguardia in 9th grade. We visit your blog and yesterday she showed me that adorable youtube video of you singing that awesome rollerskating song with your guitar. You have such a great voice and are so funny! You are inspiring and we send you all of our best wishes. Thank you for sharing your wonderful self with all. Rebecca Cohen

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  73. Dear Ruby:

    I'm just a guy out here in internet land who was told of your story from an artist friend. I read your blog post and wanted to let you know that I said a prayer for you that God walk with you step by step and help you though this time.

    From reading the comments above, you have many people, family and non-family, who are reaching out to you. Reach back to them and embrace the hands that are offering their support. The love of friends and family will make such a huge difference to you.

    I know sometimes we blame God for when "bad things happen to good people." In the span of 6 months, I lost my dad, my uncle, my job, and just a short time later, my brother-in-law. These things that happen to us can be staggering.

    For me, I don't know how I could have gotten through all of this without prayer. Knowing that Jesus walks with me and is helping me with everystep is comforting.

    I know this might seem like some religious mumbo jumbo to you.

    Regardless, I have prayed for you that the Big Man upstairs help you though this tough journey, that your friends shower you with love and support, and that you find the courage to put one foot in front of the other. The love you receive is like the glimmer of a beautiful sunset that can help warm your spirit and give you hope for each day.

    God bless you, my friend.

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  74. Hi Ruby!!!

    On behalf of the PICU I am sending you our love and blessings. I'm soo happy you followed through with blogging, I actually have your site bookmarked on my phone haha but in all seriousness, you have a wonderful gift Ruby and you're very inspiring to everyone around you. I know there are going to be wonderful days and then there will be difficult days, but you are very strong and can overcome any obstacle that stands in your way. PLEASE continue to post more so we can keep up with your progression. We love you and miss you and keep up the good work!!

    Ryan, PCA from the PICU

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  75. Hi Ruby. One day maybe two summers ago? I met you for the first time at a rest stop off of the highway. I can't remember where my family and I were going or coming from. But my son, Matthew, now a 5th grader at Nest said, "Hey!! She goes to my school!" I didn't believe him since he is always sure he's seeing someone he knows but it doesn't turn out to be. Anyway, it turned out he was right and you were kind enough to stop and talk to us. You related that you were going to LaGuardia and I was so impressed. You actually made an impression on us. When we got the email so many months later about what had happened to your family- Matthew's father immediately said didn't we meet her? I don't know any words of comfort that could help. I will just say we are thinking of you and you are special.

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  76. Hey Ruby!
    I was so sorry to hear about your accident when your grandmother Carol told me. You've been in my thoughts and prayers ever since it happened. She tells me that you are getting stronger everyday!! Keep wiggling!

    I met your grandmother through St. Francis of Assisi Kitchen in Scranton, PA when she came to give free haircuts to some of our guests. She came in today to give more haircuts and I posted some pictures on our Facebook page. Check out the link below and look through them--there is a special one just for you! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.651463124899908.1073741863.239180562794835

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  77. Ruby, You are amazing! and inspiring! WOW! Thank you for continuing to share your amazing self, and keep wiggling. We are thinking of you & your family & sending out wiggle vibes. Jessie & Josephine & Jim Orr

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  78. Ruby Joy...You have a wonderful wit and personality. You may or may not walk I don't know the extent of your injuries...but you will overcome. You are amazing! I think you will enjoy this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7Cda2sVoKI

    D

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  79. Ruby, keep writing! This blog is great, and so necessary in this world where we so easily forget the important stuff and fill our own heads with criticism and negative self-talk. Keep talking, its beautiful to hear your authentic voice. I think your Mama is right to advise you to "write how you really feel", much love and many xxxxoooo Amy - Olivia Wein's Mom Brooklyn

    PS I dig that knit blanket, I just knit my first blanket, it's pretty jacked up, but it was fun to make!

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  80. Great to read your latest Ruby!!! Thank you for all the thoughts! <3 Love, Russell

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